from the archives: what if we're asking the wrong questions?
an assertive love letter (my most F'd of the FAQs)
Hi! Welcome back to Claire From Online by me, Claire. It feels nice to write a regular old newsletter post. Though unadorned, I’m prematurely assigning its importance here in this space, and I may even be assigning it as required reading to followers in my DMs in the near future. This topic has been begging to be newsletter-ed by me for years now. It must be done. I’m ready.
A note from CB, the Woman Online who refuses to niche down: This is a newsletter about journaling. If you are not here because of or for my journaling preoccupation/pastime/content… see you next time!
Since the dawn of time, or since I started sharing my journaling pages to strangers on the internet seven years ago, I’ve been asked versions of these two questions weekly:
“How do you make yourself journal? I can’t seem to get myself to start.”
and
“How do you get over your fear of messing up?”
I genuinely try to answer these with a positive and cheery tone (“Aw! Getting started is hard, but it’s so rewarding once your journal is totally filled!! <3333 :~)” “Messing up is part of the fun <333333” “You don’t have to show anyone!!! <3333333333” (also, who really wants to hear, “you can always… not do it”), but I think I’m ready to take a different approach:
THIS MIGHT NOT BE FOR YOU.
That was liberating. Let’s bring it back in for a second.
What’s your “why”?
Forgive me for the motivational speaker cosplay, but once you identify and lean into your journaling “why”, you’ll be able to either smash some roadblocks or identify if they’re even worth addressing.
People may choose to journal for a number of reasons. My ‘why’ changes depending on my season and life stage, but since journaling is important to me, I usually1 make time for it.
Keeping a journal or a planner is great for…
processing emotions
documenting your life/memory keeping
organizing + planning
as a general creative outlet
developing a new skill often associated with journaling/planning (hand lettering, collage, drawing/illustration)
So, how do I make myself journal? You shouldn’t have to. I don’t. I don’t have to, because one or more of the above reasons are worth it to me to continue with this hobby. If you can’t get yourself to start, ask yourself what you’re wanting to get out of it, and go from there (we’ll get into this further on).
Hobbies should be for personal enjoyment. Aside from keeping a journal, there are other, perfectly lovely and useful and productive ways to document your life (photos, social media), plan + organize (Google Calendar, Notion), and have a creative outlet (pick one). Journaling might not actually be for you, AND THAT’S OKAY!!!!!
We live in a time of HOBBY PRESSURE and EXCESS.
If you, too, enjoy existing in a social media space occupied by any number of creative subgroups, you have seen a meme or two about how seemingly IMPOSSIBLE it is to make time for all of the cozy hobbies that await us on any given weekend or day off. There’s reading, baking, writing, painting, playing cozy video games, embroidery, crochet, knitting, cooking, DIY projects, exercising, quilting, watching a comfort show, gardening, nail art, sculpting, wheel throwing, and last but certainly not least, journaling. If you’re reading this, I know you’re down with at least five of these things, and try to incorporate as many as possible into your weekly rhythms. And it’s hard, because there’s your job, maybe you’re in school or raising toddlers, working on a huge project, familial or social obligations, travel, and sleep…
To make matters WORSE, your bookstagram friends are chronicling their sourdough or earring-making adventures, your art journaling mutuals are super into their Switch games and are teaching themselves InDesign, and that gal you follow for knitting inspiration is getting really into pottery and also yoga and she’s really good at both and you’re getting kinda envious. Every time you turn around, someone else is monetizing their hobby. You just feel so BORING in comparison. You want to do it all, but you have to go to WORK. Life is rude sometimes.
Finally, you have a little time off to goof around. You “only” get to finish a few chapters and an embroidery project and make some cinnamon rolls from scratch, but you want MORE. There is an empty journal in your desk, begging to be used. You’re going for it.
But there’s a problem. You have no idea what you’re doing, and you’re afraid of messing up. You, having no idea what you’re doing, want perfection right off the bat. HELP!!!!!
Practicing things take time, and many of us don’t want to take the time.
It sucks, but it’s true. Did you know I tried to teach myself to crochet for a grand total of three hours, about two years ago? The yarn and hooks live in the closet in my guest room. I didn’t want to put in the time. I wanted perfection right away. It looks so relaxing, and I thought it would come naturally for me. I was immediately humbled.
Is your handwriting mid? Want good bubble letters? You might have to work a lil bit for it, and I’m so sorry. You can either enjoy being ‘bad’ (your words, not mine) or put in the time to ~perfect your craft~ to meet the expectations you have for yourself.
I do acknowledge that I have a knack for creative journaling and planning. I think I have an eye for how to structure a page. I know my handwriting is nice and uniform. I love it, mostly because it’s mine. I never really run out of ideas of things to write about, because I’m not afraid to be silly. But… I still have had a ton of practice, technically. I’ve just been journaling/writing/collaging - basically engaging in the components that make up creative journaling/planning, separately - since I was six years old. I have twenty five years under my belt! That’s not nothing.
I did not have to ‘get over’ my fear of messing up, because I’ve never had a fear of messing up in this hobby.
I fear things like throwing up and severe thunderstorms, but never, ever ~making a mistake in my planner~. I do wonder if those who are afraid to engage in a hobby for fear of being BAD carry this energy into other aspects of their life. I’m guessing in some cases, yes; if that’s true, I’m going to need to refer out, because I’m just here to post my silly little pages on Instagram and post dumb memes on my Stories, and I reallllyyyy don’t want to go back to school.
I absolutely get why people don’t want to make mistakes or may have a little trouble with initiation. I’m not trying to be dense on purpose. I just have been asked this so. many. times. and I needed a place to dump all of my thoughts & feelings & encouragement & tough love on the matter. I have diagnosed anxiety and definitely don’t just ride through life on good vibes alone. But journaling is a low-pressure zone for me. And it’s always worth reiterating that this is a hobby, and hobbies should be fun. It may not be a lifelong practice for you, but I think it would be fun for you to try!
Don’t be afraid to ask some different questions:
Do I even want to do this, if I feel like I’m having to force myself every time?
What do I want to get out of it?
WHAT’S MY WHY?!?!
If you can nail down your ‘why’, you can better set aside time, find inspiration, and soon enough, your own personal style.
What’s your journaling vibe?
Are you wanting to document your life, like a scrapbook? Search ‘scrapbook photo aesthetic’ on Pinterest. Save movie tickets and wrappers. Invest in a portable photo printer. Raid your aunt’s scrapbooking container from the early 2000s and see what you can make work in a journal.
Do you want something functional? Do all the tapes and stickers and colors feel like a barrier? Search ‘functional planning’ and feast your eyes!!!
Are you planning-averse? More into a diary-journal than a planner-journal? Are you here to WRITE?! Search ‘freewrite journal prompts’ on Pinterest or Instagram. Read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and write three pages every morning. Invest in a smooth, entry-level fountain pen if you don’t already dabble. DON’T FORGET that just WRITING ABOUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL, MUNDANE LIFE IS A GREAT THING TO DO. IF YOU WANT.
Are you into aesthetics and quality while also needing to organize or plan your hectic life? Instagram is truly a treasure trove; the #planneraddicts are there to influence you. PLEASE do not feel the need to immediately invest in a $300 leather cover AND Hobonichi products AND a Rings system. These planner people are so kind & enthusiastic, and also collect these items as a hobby, so don’t let that overwhelm you if you’re new to this side of things!
Do you want to start an art journal? That’s great, don’t ask me a dang thing, I have no idea what’s going on. I would love to practice more illustrations and introduce more watercolors to my journals and planners!!!
I personally pick + choose aspects from each of these subgroups in order to find a journaling practice that works for me. I would love to dedicate a whole post to this with more inspo, deep dives, and short interviews. What subgroup do you most identify with?
As far as the perfectionism piece is concerned, you just have to jump in. The process is part of it. There are people who live their life enjoying the process: that’s me in some ways (journaling, Procreate, Peloton, vlogging + video editing), but not in others (@ crochet, sourdough, running, probably quilting).
This is a love letter to you, but in a way, also to myself. I don’t have to dance around these questions anymore. I plan to repost and share this enthusiastically & often, and hopefully this is a thorough enough deep dive for anyone who may stumble upon it. Journaling is my favorite pastime - I’m passionate about it being silly and unserious. For my part, I will just continue to share my process, and yes, me being mediocre every now and then. That’s the plan! Maybe I’ll even pick up those crochet hooks again.
Further Reading / Watching
xo, Claire
Third most-asked question is “what do you do if you miss a day/week?” … pick the journal up and start again! There’s no pressure, at least not from anyone but you. I backjournal, but only if I want to! Leave pages blank if you want to! Take breaks! Be free!
Yessss to all of this!! And also something that I think helps (me at least!) is to pull myself out of the social media rabbit hole a little bit. Sooo many cute journals out there but I always have more fun when I’m actually creating vs consuming (and there’s less to compare myself to also!).
Also, niche free is the way to be 🫡
Yes and amen.